March 06, 2005
Here is my list of 100 things. I have been working on it for a long time - so here is the compiled and edited version.Happy reading!
1) Pickled beets make me vomit.
2) I had a partial second set of permanent teeth take root in the roof of my mouth. The dentist called them my “ghost teeth” and dug them out using a wide variety of sharp instruments.
3) I brought my mother’s underpants to Show & Tell when I was in kindergarten.
4) I cheated my way through algebra class during my entire freshman year in high school.
5) I can speed read with about 96% retention. When I slow down, it’s 100%. Reading is one of my all-time greatest joys in the whole world.
6) I used to help my uncle clean fish, and then I walked around the neighborhood and sold the heads for a nickel apiece.
7) I electrocuted myself on a badly-grounded sound system twice in the same night…..right through my nose and upper lip. It knocked me off the stage both times. My nose ran non-stop for almost a week.
8) I can scan a maze and see the solution within seconds…..no matter how intricate or difficult. I think it’s related to speed reading.
9) I have healing hands.
10) I went to New Zealand on a whim about ten years ago. For three weeks, my friend and I drove around and saw amazing things. He lived on fish and chips, and I chose toasties (grilled cheese sandwiches flattened like communion wafers).
11) I have been a vegetarian since January 15, 1975.
12) I have won national awards for my songwriting and my singing.
13) My hair started to go grey when I was about 20 years old.
14) I absolutely LOVE shoes!
15) I think George Bush is an asshole, and I wish our troops could come home NOW!
16) I am transfixed by foot rubs. I turn into a blithering fool and spout gibberish-ridden murmurs of bliss.
17) I could live for days on sliced tomatoes and smoked mozzarella cheese.
18) There are a few people in this world that I have trouble liking – much less loving. I am working on these issues. There are times when I really want to just smash their faces into the sidewalk and sit back and watch them cry.
19) I met George Plimpton once, and he inspired me to try just about anything I didn’t know I could ever do. He is one of my all-time heroes. You just gotta love George.
20) I was attacked by a police dog when I was eleven years old. It was a brutal, unprovoked attack.
21) Even though I am right handed, I am left footed.
22) I tried to run away from home once by trying to ice skate to the next town (via a small creek that wound its way through the farm fields).
23) I was born without a hairline (or so they tell me). My mom said I looked just like an owl, and she was terrified to look at me.
24) A tornado ripped through my town when I was 11 years old.
25) I got snowbound for two days with some counter-culture survivalists who lived completely off the land, etc. Everything in their refrigerator was some sort of food paste substance stored in a jar.
26) I have cowlicks. Lots of cowlicks. Some days, my hair looks really funny.
27) When I am totally alone, I have Opera Time. I sing arias about anything and everything – putting on deodorant, changing the coffee filters, dusting my books, etc.
28) I never drink wine. It gives me a raging headache. Give me tequila any day.
29) I cry like a baby every time I watch “Amadeus.” There is something so heartfelt about the untimely death of pure genius.
30) I suffered from obsessive compulsive disorder for a few years in my early teens.
31) I suffer from migraine headaches. They used to happen quite often, but now I only deal with them about 3-4 times a year. They are complete with a warning laser light show, nausea, etc.
32) I hate rides that make me spin upside down. I get so shaken up by those rides that I can’t even walk for hour and hours. Nasty.
33) When I was eight years old, my friend Joey and I thought it would be fun to smash an old 7-Up bottle against the wall of an abandoned country school. I stuck my hand in the glass and almost lost my right index finger.
34) I can’t stand black licorice or anything that tastes like anise. GAAAAAAAAAAAA!
35) I am severely allergic to cats.
36) When I was in college in the early 70’s (during the Vietnam fiasco) , I helped dozens of conscientious objectors make their way into Canada.
37) I fell into a sunken grave one night while running through a cemetery with a group of drunken college friends. I screamed and yelled and carried on like a lunatic, fully believing that some dead guy was tickling my ankles.
38) I am a very good harmonica player – blues and old timey tunes. I actually own 9 harmonicas in different keys.
39) I used to think I was a dog – and I ate and slept under the dining room table.
40) I like to name my cars.
41) Fresh pineapple makes my mouth itch.
42) When I was a child used to make believe I was living in a boarding school in Connecticut.
43) I ran over a diamond-back rattler once with a push mower.
44) I have a 20% hearing loss in my right ear due to a diving mishap when I was 16 years old.
45) I am not very proficient at peeing in the woods. Fountains in Las Vegas, yes. Woods, no.
46) My eyes are blue or grey, based on my mood.
47) I did the pirate thing and pierced only one ear (twice). I wanted something different.
48) I have Type A+ blood. Perfect for a vegetarian diet.
49) When I was a kid, I wanted a horse so badly (and I could NOT have one) that I rode a broomstick with silk necktie reins (raided grandpop’s tie collection) for two whole years.
50) My mother taught me to swim by pushing me into the deep end of the pool.
51) I get easily distracted when I drive. I have been known to miss exits, etc.
52) To me, eating croissants is like chewing on waxed paper. NOCKY!
53) I don’t really like to watch movies on TV unless they were made for TV.
54) I went through orthodontia twice – once at age 13 and once at age 37. It was a lot harder the second time.
55) I am basically a very shy person. I close the door when I pee, even if nobody is home.
56) I don’t use lip balm. I do like to smell it, however.
57) I have a fierce temper when pushed to the wall. I am super strong when angry.
58) I don’t have a lot of hair on my body, but I have massive amounts on my head – and it grows like a weed.
59) I love to travel with no agenda. I love to arrive somewhere and then figure out what to do. Most travel plans are over-rated.
60) I have really long, thin fingers. My feet are also really small, considering how tall I am. Big Sister is six inches shorter than me, and we wear the same size shoes.
61) I am afraid of rodents. This dates back to the days when little meecies would scratch in the walls at night, so my mom set traps and wait for them to enter the living areas. SNAP! That sound would chill my blood, knowing I would have to carry a meecie corpse to the trash in the morning.
62) I might do just about anything for a good piece of homemade lemon meringue pie.
63) I love to travel. I think it’s one of the greatest things in the entire world. I hope to go to Scotland and Wales someday.
64) Which leads me to this one – I am totally fascinated with the Arthurian legends, Avalon, Merlin, etc.
65) I am allergic to aspirin.
66) I have met an angel – in New Zealand.
67) I like caves and dark places. I prefer lamplight to overhead light.
68) I learned the ways of an ancient healer when I was a child. An old lady who lived down the block was skilled with herbs and natural medicines, and she taught me so many things.
69) I took a self-defense course a long time ago, and I learned how to deal with things very effectively. Fortunately, I only had to use it one time – on a drunk in a bar.
70) When I was a child, I lived for snow days! My mother would let me go outside to “play” in the fiercest blizzards known to mankind.
71) I learned to drive in a baseball field when I was about 12 years old.
72) My friend once dripped some Avon sample cologne into my eyes because she thought it would make them “smell nice.”
73) I got snowbound once at some wacko’s house for two days. The only food in the entire house was a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and some popcorn.
74) The Moonies tried to pick me up at a mall in Milwaukee one day while I was writing in my journal. “You must be sad,” they said. They invited me over for dinner and a movie. They looked deeply into my eyes. They were shocked and stunned when I smiled and said, “Fuck off, clowns.”
75) Speaking of Milwaukee (same tour)……on the way there, we passed what appeared to be an infant seat abandoned on the side of the road.....only to discover that the “dead baby in an infant seat” was actually an up-ended styrofoam cooler of rotten fish.
76) Speaking of the same tour………I burst into tears at a Pizza Hut in Dubuque, Iowa because they didn’t have any chocolate ice cream.
77) I drove 75 miles in a snowstorm without any brakes. Thank heaven for manual transmissions.
78) I don’t like crappy stuff in my cream cheese. Cream cheese should taste like cream cheese. Period. End. I don’t like flavored coffee either.
79) I’m finding it easier to cry again as I get older. Maybe I don’t care as much about what people will think.
80) The first time I got ripped, I was drinking Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill wine.
81) I love pens.
82) I am a terrible dancer. I won't do it. Don't ask me.
83) I love the feel of sand running through my fingers. It's mystical. It's hypnotic.
84) I really like to pick raspberries even though they scratch the hell out of my arms.
85) I am very self-conscious about my writing. Sometimes, posting an entry on Diaryland requires a huge gulp of air. Like this one - for instance.
86) Sometimes, I rip the bed apart when I sleep. I have been known to wake up under the mattress pad.
87) I went through college in three years - while working two jobs. I have no idea where all that motivation is now.
88) I am a coffee snob.
89) I can't swallow pills. I panic.
90) I used to astral project when I was a child. It was so much fun to "visit" the neighbors or watch my parents as they hung out together in the living room. This ability has faded a lot over time.
91) I have always wanted to be a pirate.
92) I went on my first alone-with-a-boy-in-a-car date when I was just fourteen years old. He was fifteen and smelled like Vitalis. We went to see "The Graduate," and the stripper scene almost embarrassed me to death!
93) I don't look like anyone in my family. My mother used to tell me that my father was an alien who abducted her from the back yard one night. She just might be right about that.
94) I once charged all the neighbors five cents to come to my garage and listen to me sing "Moon River" while I sat in a rubber boat on the cement floor.
95) The nuns at school used to pray extra hard for my salvation because my dad was a Protestant.
96) I have only changed three diapers in my entire life.
97) When in college, I stole $50 worth of cheese from a food co-op because I didn't have any money.
98) The double ferris wheel is my favorite ride of all time.
99) I fall asleep instantly on airplanes.
100) I really hope to write a book one day. I can't seem to move off the dime about it right now - something is scaring me, and I haven't yet figured out what.
