May 11, 2008
That lifted eyebrow says it all, eh? So happy day to everyone who has ever nurtured another creature. Methinks that includes all of us.
I cleaned out my car this week to prepare it for sale, and I found some really funny things. It was like cleaning out a purse only funnier. WTF? The funniest doo-dad was a little bird figure made from panty hose. I have no idea how that got into my car in the first place. I can't imagine that I would have ever bought a panty hose bird. It was under the front seat, so I think someone planted it there as a joke. Of all the things that could have been put under my front seat, a panty hose bird is right up there near the top.
When I see things like that, I can't help but wonder who in the world thought of such a thing. "What else can we do with panty hose besides wear them, Frances?"
(Frances thinks)
(Frances answers)
"Oh! I have a great idea! Let's make little bird figures using those panty hose! They will look fat and squeezy! When we finish with the birds, we can make little ladies who look like Martha Washington!"
And all this time I thought the best use for unwanted panty hose was to use them as lint filters for the washing machine or to tie up the climbing beans in the garden. How limited was my thinking?
So Frances and her friends started a trend. A trend that ended up on the floor of my car with a few "while you were out of the office" notes and a small bottle of hand sanitizer.
Here is something that I am SO glad I did not find in my car!
YIKES! Apparently, this dog climbed under some guy's truck and got wedged in the engine. He was there for almost a day before the guy went out and opened the hood. Imagine his surprise!
That would be like finding someone's head under a serving dome at a buffet table. That old trick works every time. Easy to do and very effective if you like to hear people scream when they see someone's head instead of garlic mashed potatoes.
I can assure you that I would scream BIG TIME if I found that dog inside the engine of my car! From what I read on the internet news, the dog chewed through about $1,000 worth of hoses, belts, and cables. Animal rescue was called to extricate (neener) him from the engine. I'll bet that was pleasant.
I can hear it now. How much is that doggie in the engine?
"Hey, Jerry! We just got a call to remove a pit bull from a truck engine. He's been there for almost 24 hours. Bet he's scared and hungry and quite agitated by now!"
"Let's roll on that one, Leo! I can't wait to remove a dog like that from a truck engine! Sounds like fun!"
I'm hoping they gave that nice puppy a big old shot of happy juice so he wouldn't bite them.
I actually had a critter in my car once. A squirrel got into the glove box and ate through a can of smoked almonds. Better than a pit bull in the engine any day!
All this chattering and I haven't even had coffee yet.
