June 20, 2008
All righty then, 52-year old California woman who was injured trying on panties.....Yes indeed. This whole thing is as ridiculous as the hot coffee incident at MacDonald's a few years ago. Hey, lady! Don't spill coffee on your lap! It's gonna be hot!
Anyway, here is the news (verbatim).
A 52-year-old California woman is suing lingerie giant Victoria's Secret, charging she was hit in the eye by a decorative metallic object that flew off a thong she was trying on.
Macrida Patterson, a traffic officer for the Los Angeles Department of Transportation, claims her cornea was severely damaged in the underwear mishap.
Patterson's lawyer, Jason Buccat, told thesmokinggun.com that a "design flaw" with the skimpy garment is to blame.
Patterson was hurt last May while trying on a "low-rise v-string," which is part of the Victoria's Secret "Sexy Little Thing" line, according to the suit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court.
She said the accident caused her to miss several days of work.
Buccat said the the injury Patterson suffered will affect her "the rest of her life."
The v-string is a variant to a G-string and is popular because it eliminates panty lines.
Victoria's Secret officials asked Patterson if they could examine the garment and the allegedly defective decorative piece that hit her, but she rejected their request on the advice of her attorney.
My question is this: What the fook was she doing to cause that little doo-dad to fly off the panties with such force that it scratched her cornea?
So I did a little research.
Since I am moving, I have purged my panties. Well, maybe I should say that another way. I purged my panty drawers. No wait. That doesn't sound right either.
Ummmm.....I threw out my old underwear. There! Much better. All that remain are the ones with tight elastic. I have lost far too many panties to the old Weakended Elastic Goes Snap syndrome than I care to relate here. Moving on.....
So I tried to see how this woman could have injured herself by testing myself on my own underwear. I tested my panties by stepping into them one leg at a time. No injury using either leg. Then, I set them on the floor and tried again with both legs. Same result. Nothing was flung into my corneas.
Now, mind you, I don't have flingable doo-dad trinket things on my panties. Oh wait, that didn't sound right either. Oh, fook!
Anyway, methinks it would take a really strange act of God to injure yourself putting on panties. But then again, she was trying to put on a v-string. Not sure if that actually counts as panties. If a v-string is as dental-flossy as I think it is, the possibility for injury is more understandable.
So, here is my advice to anyone attempting to wear panties or v-strings with flingable doo-dad trinket things. Close your damn eyes when you put them on! You will keep your corneas safe and you just MIGHT look sexy. That is if you can find the leg hole with your eyes shut. You might actually TRIP on your panties if you try that....so never mind. I guess there is no easy solution except going commando.
